I Am So F*cking Tired- an article

I am so fucking tired.

I am so tired of being tired.

I am so tired of being so tired that I go to bed at 8:30 p.m., only to lie awake for hours in the middle of the night.

I am so tired of not having time with my spouse to actually enjoy each other or talk about things other than the pandemic.

I am so tired of mitigating risk by the hour.

I am so tired of internally debating whether my kids’ response to something is pandemic-related or not.

I am so tired of selfish people.

I am so tired of dumb people.

I am so tired of lazy people.

I am so tired of being angry.

I am so tired of feeling so much rage toward strangers.

I am so tired of my kids.

I am so tired of my kids not being able to get a vaccine.

I am so tired of talking about new variants. I am so tired of drinking to quell the pain.

I am so tired of living in “Groundhog Day.”

I am so tired of saying, “That’s it, I’m done,” only to, of course, not actually be done.

I am so tired of worrying about long COVID-19 and what we don’t know.

I am so tired of working from home and being interrupted by inane questions from my kids.

I am so tired of looking in the mirror and seeing how much this has all aged me. I am so tired of living day to day.

I am so tired of planning vacations in my head, only to know we won’t be able to safely take them for a while.

I am so tired of witnessing the world burn and knowing my kids’ futures are in jeopardy.

I am so tired of watching this country fold into itself.

I am so tired of worrying these kids will never be able to read or write or do math at the level they should be able to.

I am so tired of worrying that, years from now, the social and emotional repercussions will affect all these kids in innumerable ways.

I am so tired of having a lack of support — not from my spouse or family, but from society as a whole.

I am so tired of not having a game plan to get out of this ... or to have one, only to have so many people ignore it.

I am so fucking tired.

Originally published on www.huffpost.com on 9/7/2021

Written by Kate Auletta

normal?

Kate

09/07/2021 10:20am EDT

Comments

Caregiving For A Parent

Mom was diagnosed with stage 4 acinar carcinoma pancreatic cancer a while ago. Acinar carcinoma only affects about 4% of the population with pancan. Even after treatment at Cancer Treatment Centers of America, they had only seen a few cases and even with treatment her tumor was growing. She had the whipple in 2019. Fast forward to today, she’s been living with me and my 8 year old son (The Boy) for about 2 years now and it’s been back and forth from Northern Alabama to Atlanta every other week. That stopped when they said the treatment wasn’t working. They sent Mom home. She did great for a while, but she’s slowly getting weaker and weaker and after a fall last night we made the decision that she won’t be moving around the house anymore. Thank God for Southern Beacon hospice. We’ve got a wonderful nurse and everything we need so she can stay in the bed. Yall, she’s so tiny. I can see every ligament on her poor little body. This woman has had cancer like 4 times. She’s a damn troop...

Don't Ignore The Pain of Infertility

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and the fine people at RESOLVE have challenged Bloggers to write a blog post with the theme of “Don’t Ignore Infertility”. In your life, in the lives of your family and friends, don’t ignore infertility. The words that so make so many of our hearts drop to our feet are: “Just relax, it will happen” and “Just trust God’s will”. These (and others) are phrases that I can’t stand. They are meant to be helping words. Kind words. Words to uplift and give encouragement. And yet as quick as they are spoken, they cut to the quick and cause resentment, anger and bitterness. Some people experience infertility and never have biological children. Others have children and experience infertility after that, called secondary infertility . Either way, it hurts. There is no cure, and the best that we can hope for is to find some other (albeit very costly) way to get pregnant or have that child we dream of. I got married last week to a wonderf...

Losing Mommy Hit Tonight

I had an emotional evening with everything going on with my Mom. I started crying and Myles grabbed my hand and said, “come with me.” He led me to Mom’s room and said, “She’s still here Mom. Go hug her.” So I did. And cried, and loved on her. Myles said “hold on,” and went out to grab my phone. He said, “ you guys need a picture “. Y’all, it took me holding her and all her strength to sit up in bed. Then Myles took the photo of me and my Mommy. When I started crying again he told me a joke to make us laugh. He is wise beyond his years. Mom, forgive me for posting the photo.

Ignore Me Like You Mean It

Search This Blog