Ignore Me Like You Mean It

Today I am 8 days post op from my mastectomy. Yesterday I broke down sobbing because I miss The Boy so bad. Since my back went out I’ve been unable even to love on him. Every movement makes my back spasm. It’s VERY slowly getting better, but that means that walking to the kitchen and back puts me down for hours. My expanders feel as if they are coming out under my armpits. It feels like there are foreign objects in my chest. I’ll call them bricks. My chest is still misshapen because there’s nothing in there but tissue expanders. I was supposed to get my drains out today, but apparently Dr. B forgot they were closed today. So Tuesday morning it is because it’s a holiday weekend. My drain totals are under 30mL. I have had to use the pillows under my arms because they are very sensitive and uncomfortable now. Uncomfortable isn’t even the right word. We’re pretty sure I threw my back out by wiggling on my butt into the bed. I have an adjustable bed so that’s been helpful. But with four her...

A few day ago I got my date. My pre-admission testing is on August 16 and my PBM (preventive bilateral (that means both of them) mastectomy) is scheduled for August 23rd. Am I ready? HECK YEAH! Am I nervous? Probably not until that morning. Am I emotional? Not yet and that worries me. I have a feeling the emotions will come after the surgery. I’d rather not do emotions and pain killers but there it is. Is my house ready? Nah bruh. If you’re reading this and you know me, we still need people to help with cleaning and people to sign up for bringing over meals. The Husband will be handling my 19 month old son, but he is a handful and keeping everything clean, caring for me, cooking, caring for The Boy- that’s a lot for one person. We’ll take all the help we can get. And now it’s apparently the end of bath time as The Boy is trying to climb out. See ya soon.