Ignore Me Like You Mean It

 Today was a super hard day.  Yesterday I was supposed to leave with The Man to go to California for a vacation. Something everyone, including Momma said I needed. Well, American Airlines canceled the flight due to the weather in DFW.  I took a 1/4 of my Xanax (which I've never taken) to sleep last night and woke up feeling emotionally, physically and mentally unstable in an EXTREME way. Add to that when I'm away from The Boy from more than a few days it really hits my depression in a way that nothing else, even the stuff with my Momma does.  Today was taxing. It was hard to keep my head on straight and I felt like I was going crazy. I felt as if I couldn't control anything and needed to be hospitalized. Not because I'm suicidal or even depressed. But because my level of stress and anxiety is so beyond the norm that I felt like I just needed to be placed somewhere safe without anything to say, do, or experience. Except The Boy.  The Man is amazed by my level of ...

It can rip your heart out, and tear your soul to pieces. It can be the voice of unspeakable love and boundless pain. Or it can be a teacher of a faith so deep that even death cannot break it. One of my favorite women in the world died on Friday. She was my Aunt Debbie. She was a teacher of strength and patience, discipline and courage. Her faith was one that I only hope to acquire someday. Amidst all her pain and faith, she held onto the faith that she would one day go home to Jesus. And she did. It's not just Debbie that demonstrated an abounding love and faith to me though. I called my Uncle Doug this evening, to talk to him, and to tell him how much I loved him and how sorry I was, how blessed I was to see both her and him before she left us. While I was calling to console my uncle, HE was trying to console me. Telling me how proud she was of me, and how much she loved me and prayed for me. He said, "Well, I miss my girl a lot. But she's way too busy up there to m...