Ignore Me Like You Mean It

Tomorrow is my third post op appointment for my mastectomy and my first fill. The last week I’ve been in a significant amount of pain and I’ve been so tired. I stopped taking all medications that make me sleepy and I’m still so tired I have a hard time staying awake during the day.  I’m kind of mentally freaking about the fill. Most people don’t get feeling back in their chest and I already have. So they’ll be finding the ports in my chest and filling them with a very large (I’m told) needle. Which is supposed to cause more “discomfort”.  On top of that I have one side that is poking out under my arm so my “mound/expander” is all disfigured and weird shaped and the other side is shaped like a boob. Weird. I’m having a hard time finding a sports bra that fits tight enough but doesn’t hurt. So the hunt is still on. Here’s to construction. Or rather, reconstruction. #unBRCAble #foobs #fillmeupbuttercup #ishouldgetcookiesforthis

Tonight The Boy cuddled with me while watching Coco. After sleeping from 7pm to 7am with Daddy. I got tons of cuddles, kisses and fist bumps, and Boy and Daddy get to cuddle at night. Sweet guys. And yes. Because this is a public blog The Boy’s face will not be published.  That’s sad for y’all because this child is the most gorgeous boy in the world. Smart, kind, funny, thoughtful, and sweet. So sad. Anywho.  Today I have an itch on my left side under my arm, where I have no feeling. But when I scratch there, I can’t feel it. Because it’s numb. But it itches. And I can feel it. Wut? So... that makes no sense. Surgical compression bras SUCK. Let me repeat. They SUCK. My psoriasis itches under them, everything is compressed and I really want to rip this Saran Wrap and tape OFF my flat flat man chest. Currently my expanders feel like bricks. Not because they are heavy, but because I am pretty sure they’re actually plastic inside me and I can feel them when I scratch my ch...

Today The Husband and I went to my pre- admission testing, as well as my blood doctor appointment because with Hughes Syndrome, you have to have the blood dude sign off on all major surgeries. We will be arriving at the hospital at 5 am-ish that morning. By that evening, I will be boobless but my cancer risk will be almost ZERO!!! What!! The day before surgery we’ll go see the PS so I can be “marked” for surgery that way they don’t have to do it the day of. Dr. B likes to study his patients the night before, their photos, and really put a plan together. I’m so thankful for a thorough PS.  Currently I’m freaking about letting go of everything and letting The Husband handle it, but I’m trying. The next five days will be a flurry of time spent hugging The Boy, cleaning, spending time with The Husband and then we’ll stay the night in The City the night before.  Deep breaths. This is actually happening. As for the photo, if I had a nickel for every time someone compared my choice w...

In 2016 I had a bilateral mastectomy scheduled in order to prevent breast cancer because my risk puts me at a 98% chance of getting breast cancer.  I found out I was pregnant with The Boy and now he is a whopping 18 months old. And it’s time to make sure I don’t have to fight for my life. So The Man and I have spoken to my doctors and we are moving forward with my preventive bilateral mastectomy. If you follow this page, the next little while will be posts about breast cancer and PBM’s. I’m very well versed in this, so if you continue to follow my page, please share. It’s so important for men and women to have genetic testing done.  Please pray for us as I go through this process and bear with me as I share a lot of TMI and photos etc.