Mom’s Log - Quarantine Day 498:

I’m so tired. I’m thankful to be working and making money when so many can’t. I’m so thankful for my parents and the ability to live with them. I’m thankful for my mom, for my mother and father in law and ex husband who are so supportive with The Boy.  I’m so thankful to be in good health. I’m thankful The Boy  is in good health, when so many other children have compromised immune systems.

I’m frustrated by having to keep The Boy home from school. Kids should grow up with sunlight and peers if they can. Having to isolate him from his peers, his cousins, is so hard on him. I’ve taken to working on the back porch so we can at least be outside some.

I hate not being able to interact with him while I’m working. He’s such a great sport and a wonderful kid that it’s like, “really dude? You’re okay?” He’ll say, “yes a Mommy. I understand The Germs make us stay home. I’m okay.” He’s too damn smart. Sometimes I think the smart people have it worse, because they understand so much more, and so much deeper than others. Kids and adults.

And yes, now I’m rambling.

I don’t expect this to be over until, at minimum, September. Probably later.  Probably more like 18 month of Covid-19. We’ll see. I’m so glad it’s such a beautiful day. Make sure you’re outside today. Even if you’re sick. Even if it’s just sitting on the porch. Or the grass.

#StayHome #BeSafe

P.S. Forgive the formatting. Things got weird.

~k~

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Beginning of the Tweens

The Boy has spent all 5 days with his dad. Thursday to Monday evening. Then he came home. He was so tired he didn’t want to talk. So we ended up going to bed and reading Harry Potter (Prisoner of Azkaban). He wanted on the internet but no. I told him no. Eventually he fell asleep. Today we woke up and he immediately asked if he could go to MawMaw and PawPaw’s. I said, “you don’t want to stay home and spend time with me?” He said: no I want to visit them. Cue the first time my feelings have been really hurt by him. He asked for a hug. I’ve always told him I will always hug him. I said, “I don’t want a hug right now because my feelings are hurt. But in a minute I’ll give you a hug.” We went into the living room and he was crying. I asked why. He said, “because you are mad at me and you think I hurt your feelings on purpose.” Well, I quickly set that straight. I told him I knew 100% that he didn’t hurt my feelings on purpose and I knew he never would. That I was abs...

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I had an emotional evening with everything going on with my Mom. I started crying and Myles grabbed my hand and said, “come with me.” He led me to Mom’s room and said, “She’s still here Mom. Go hug her.” So I did. And cried, and loved on her. Myles said “hold on,” and went out to grab my phone. He said, “ you guys need a picture “. Y’all, it took me holding her and all her strength to sit up in bed. Then Myles took the photo of me and my Mommy. When I started crying again he told me a joke to make us laugh. He is wise beyond his years. Mom, forgive me for posting the photo.

Moving On Through Grief

Mom left this earth on February 12, 2025. I woke up that morning to get Myles ready for school and Mom was cold. She went to meet God sometime between 2:30 am and 6:30 am. I called The Boy’s dad to come get him and take him to school as we had agreed on prior to that. I shut her bedroom doors and got him together and out the door and then I called hospice. It was such a RELIEF knowing that she was finally gone to God. In her final days awake, my Mom begged me to kill her. She begged me to let her die. She was crying in pain even through the pain medication. Thankfully, when we got close, I was able to tell her how much I loved her and administer morphine. That kept her out of pain, asleep, and floating in her own world. When she lost consciousness it was about 4-5 days after that when she went to meet God. One of the surreal things was that although she was unconscious, her eyes were open. Hospice assured me that was common. But it broke my heart to see her normally bright b...

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