Skip to main content

In My Feels

Tomorrow is my third post op appointment for my mastectomy and my first fill.

The last week I’ve been in a significant amount of pain and I’ve been so tired. I stopped taking all medications that make me sleepy and I’m still so tired I have a hard time staying awake during the day. 

I’m kind of mentally freaking about the fill. Most people don’t get feeling back in their chest and I already have. So they’ll be finding the ports in my chest and filling them with a very large (I’m told) needle. Which is supposed to cause more “discomfort”. 

On top of that I have one side that is poking out under my arm so my “mound/expander” is all disfigured and weird shaped and the other side is shaped like a boob. Weird. I’m having a hard time finding a sports bra that fits tight enough but doesn’t hurt. So the hunt is still on.

Here’s to construction. Or rather, reconstruction.
#unBRCAble #foobs #fillmeupbuttercup #ishouldgetcookiesforthis
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Beginning of the Tweens

The Boy has spent all 5 days with his dad. Thursday to Monday evening. Then he came home. He was so tired he didn’t want to talk.  So we ended up going to bed and reading Harry Potter (Prisoner of Azkaban). He wanted on the internet but no. I told him no. Eventually he fell asleep.  Today we woke up and he immediately asked if he could go to MawMaw and PawPaw’s. I said, “you don’t want to stay home and spend time with me?” He said: no I want to visit them.  Cue the first time my feelings have been really hurt by him. He asked for a hug. I’ve always told him I will always hug him.  I said, “I don’t want a hug right now because my feelings are hurt. But in a minute I’ll give you a hug.” We went into the living room and he was crying. I asked why. He said, “because you are mad at me and you think I hurt your feelings on purpose.” Well, I quickly set that straight. I told him I knew 100% that he didn’t hurt my feelings on purpose and I knew he never would. That I was abs...
Post a Comment
Read more

Caregiving For A Parent

Mom was diagnosed with stage 4 acinar carcinoma pancreatic cancer a while ago. Acinar carcinoma only affects about 4% of the population with pancan. Even after treatment at Cancer Treatment Centers of America, they had only seen a few cases and even with treatment her tumor was growing. She had the whipple in 2019. Fast forward to today, she’s been living with me and my 8 year old son (The Boy) for about 2 years now and it’s been back and forth from Northern Alabama to Atlanta every other week. That stopped when they said the treatment wasn’t working.  They sent Mom home. She did great for a while, but she’s slowly getting weaker and weaker and after a fall last night we made the decision that she won’t be moving around the house anymore. Thank God for Southern Beacon hospice. We’ve got a wonderful nurse and everything we need so she can stay in the bed. Yall, she’s so tiny. I can see every ligament on her poor little body. This woman has had cancer like 4 times. She’s a damn troop...
Post a Comment
Read more

Fear and Satan

I’ve kept silent since this tragedy has unfolded in Las Vegas. There are enough people commenting and sharing and speculating about this shooting that I just didn’t have it in me.  My heart hurts. It physically aches with heartbreak for these people who lost their loved ones and it aches in fear for my little boy. Fear is something I thought I knew. Something I was familiar with and had wrestled to the ground. I have always been proud to say I feared nothing. It’s scary how fast that changes when you have children. I had a panic attack at church a few weeks ago- my husband and I go to a very large church here in our state. The largest. What a target, is all I can think. We dropped our son off in daycare and went to the service. During worship all I had in my head were thoughts of “what if” and “how would I get out” and “how would I get to my son”. I started hyperventilating and we had to leave. Thankfully, I was able to speak with some folks that head up our security team and get s...
Post a Comment
Read more