Skip to main content

Mommy Thoughts

The Boy came home today and I experienced some guilt and dismay at not being able to scoop him up, cuddle him, rock him or rough house with him. He was soooo tired and I know that the next few days he’ll get less fussy. I also KNOW that this is temporary and he’s fine. He is spending lots of quality time with Grandpa, MawMaw (his choice of names) and Daddy. This is a small price to pay for no breast cancer.


But you know how moms are. If we can guilt ourselves for any reason, we will. Irrational or not. Even with the knowledge that it’s irrational. Thankfully, our God is the great Healer and His healing promises are being kept with me. I am recovering quickly and well so I’m praising God for that!


The hardest part of all of this has been being away from The Boy and the itching- thanks to being allergic to pain meds- and psoriasis itching. Since I don’t need the pain meds, I’m only itching from the psoriasis. 


I knew the separation would be very hard for me. But still. Anyways. It’s late and I’m rambling. The Boy and The Husband are asleep in a mattress in the living room. I was really tempted to join them but that defeats the purpose. 


If you’re going through this with young kids- keep your eye on the goal: healing. Being cancer free. Being here for your kids life. And stay strong in Christ.


#unBRCAble #previvor #MissTheBoy #soitchy #irrationalmomthoughts #mommybrain #foobs4lyfe

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Don't Ignore The Pain of Infertility

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and the fine people at RESOLVE have challenged Bloggers to write a blog post with the theme of “Don’t Ignore Infertility”. In your life, in the lives of your family and friends, don’t ignore infertility. The words that so make so many of our hearts drop to our feet are: “Just relax, it will happen” and “Just trust God’s will”.  These (and others) are phrases that I can’t stand. They are meant to be helping words. Kind words. Words to uplift and give encouragement. And yet as quick as they are spoken, they cut to the quick and cause resentment, anger and bitterness. Some people experience infertility and never have biological children. Others have children and experience infertility after that, called secondary infertility . Either way, it hurts. There is no cure, and the best that we can hope for is to find some other (albeit very costly) way to get pregnant or have that child we dream of. I got married last week to a wonderf...

Anxiety, Caregiving, Separation from Kids and other anxiety and depression related things

 Today was a super hard day.  Yesterday I was supposed to leave with The Man to go to California for a vacation. Something everyone, including Momma said I needed. Well, American Airlines canceled the flight due to the weather in DFW.  I took a 1/4 of my Xanax (which I've never taken) to sleep last night and woke up feeling emotionally, physically and mentally unstable in an EXTREME way. Add to that when I'm away from The Boy from more than a few days it really hits my depression in a way that nothing else, even the stuff with my Momma does.  Today was taxing. It was hard to keep my head on straight and I felt like I was going crazy. I felt as if I couldn't control anything and needed to be hospitalized. Not because I'm suicidal or even depressed. But because my level of stress and anxiety is so beyond the norm that I felt like I just needed to be placed somewhere safe without anything to say, do, or experience. Except The Boy.  The Man is amazed by my level of ...

Cancer Treatment Centers of America and Mom

Well,  I'm laying in the bed next to my mom as she snores (yes you do, mom). Here are photos from earlier.  She's extremely weak and has a huge appetite but can't eat more than a bite or two at a time.  It's so surreal to have this force in my life who has shaped me; this strong woman who has battled cancer and won four times be laying in this hotel room and weighing less than 90 pounds.  In my head she is strong, decisive,  larger than life.  She taught me to always laugh,  even in the bad situations- especially at the bad; to have faith in God, speak life and to always carry some type of weapon.  Of course I'll be updating every day because I have to write it out somewhere.  Watching both of your parents rapidly deteriorate at the same time is... indescribably difficult.  It comes with anxiety,  frustration,  gratefulness, faith,  anger and a whole heap of patience that waxes and wanes. Tomorrow i...