Skip to main content

Mommy Thoughts

The Boy came home today and I experienced some guilt and dismay at not being able to scoop him up, cuddle him, rock him or rough house with him. He was soooo tired and I know that the next few days he’ll get less fussy. I also KNOW that this is temporary and he’s fine. He is spending lots of quality time with Grandpa, MawMaw (his choice of names) and Daddy. This is a small price to pay for no breast cancer.


But you know how moms are. If we can guilt ourselves for any reason, we will. Irrational or not. Even with the knowledge that it’s irrational. Thankfully, our God is the great Healer and His healing promises are being kept with me. I am recovering quickly and well so I’m praising God for that!


The hardest part of all of this has been being away from The Boy and the itching- thanks to being allergic to pain meds- and psoriasis itching. Since I don’t need the pain meds, I’m only itching from the psoriasis. 


I knew the separation would be very hard for me. But still. Anyways. It’s late and I’m rambling. The Boy and The Husband are asleep in a mattress in the living room. I was really tempted to join them but that defeats the purpose. 


If you’re going through this with young kids- keep your eye on the goal: healing. Being cancer free. Being here for your kids life. And stay strong in Christ.


#unBRCAble #previvor #MissTheBoy #soitchy #irrationalmomthoughts #mommybrain #foobs4lyfe

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Beginning of the Tweens

The Boy has spent all 5 days with his dad. Thursday to Monday evening. Then he came home. He was so tired he didn’t want to talk.  So we ended up going to bed and reading Harry Potter (Prisoner of Azkaban). He wanted on the internet but no. I told him no. Eventually he fell asleep.  Today we woke up and he immediately asked if he could go to MawMaw and PawPaw’s. I said, “you don’t want to stay home and spend time with me?” He said: no I want to visit them.  Cue the first time my feelings have been really hurt by him. He asked for a hug. I’ve always told him I will always hug him.  I said, “I don’t want a hug right now because my feelings are hurt. But in a minute I’ll give you a hug.” We went into the living room and he was crying. I asked why. He said, “because you are mad at me and you think I hurt your feelings on purpose.” Well, I quickly set that straight. I told him I knew 100% that he didn’t hurt my feelings on purpose and I knew he never would. That I was abs...
Post a Comment
Read more

Fear and Satan

I’ve kept silent since this tragedy has unfolded in Las Vegas. There are enough people commenting and sharing and speculating about this shooting that I just didn’t have it in me.  My heart hurts. It physically aches with heartbreak for these people who lost their loved ones and it aches in fear for my little boy. Fear is something I thought I knew. Something I was familiar with and had wrestled to the ground. I have always been proud to say I feared nothing. It’s scary how fast that changes when you have children. I had a panic attack at church a few weeks ago- my husband and I go to a very large church here in our state. The largest. What a target, is all I can think. We dropped our son off in daycare and went to the service. During worship all I had in my head were thoughts of “what if” and “how would I get out” and “how would I get to my son”. I started hyperventilating and we had to leave. Thankfully, I was able to speak with some folks that head up our security team and get s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Don't Ignore The Pain of Infertility

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and the fine people at RESOLVE have challenged Bloggers to write a blog post with the theme of “Don’t Ignore Infertility”. In your life, in the lives of your family and friends, don’t ignore infertility. The words that so make so many of our hearts drop to our feet are: “Just relax, it will happen” and “Just trust God’s will”.  These (and others) are phrases that I can’t stand. They are meant to be helping words. Kind words. Words to uplift and give encouragement. And yet as quick as they are spoken, they cut to the quick and cause resentment, anger and bitterness. Some people experience infertility and never have biological children. Others have children and experience infertility after that, called secondary infertility . Either way, it hurts. There is no cure, and the best that we can hope for is to find some other (albeit very costly) way to get pregnant or have that child we dream of. I got married last week to a wonderf...
3 comments
Read more