Skip to main content

Meds and Things

Well the muscle relaxers are messing with me. I’m tired but can’t sleep (insomnia, not pain). I’ve got a super high pain tolerance and since Dr. B said moving is important I’ve been following his orders to the T. To a T? The T? I don’t know. I’ve been following them.

I got a huge care package from my mother in law and it is the best. It’s got a big reclining pillow, candle, back washer, an adorable comfy robe with a hood, a beautiful throw blanket... she spoils me. 

My pain is at around a 7. 6-7. Most of the pain is localized under my arms, as well as underneath my surgical bra. I’ve been able to sort of get on my side to sleep, but it’s more being propped on a pillow under my back and then making sure I have something under my arms.

I was able to shower today, doctors orders. I haven’t been able to look at my chest yet. I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’m not ready. I’m happy and I’m super upbeat about my recovery... but not yet.

And I haven’t seen The Boy yet. That hurts. I miss him so much. I know he’s going to be bouncy and boisterous when I see him. I can’t lift him or anything. So yeah. I think he’s going to come home tomorrow.

Deep breaths hurt my chest- my expanders are under the muscle so I think this will be mostly what I feel as far as pain is concerned.

So far so good.

#unBRCAble #previvor #milkingit



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Beginning of the Tweens

The Boy has spent all 5 days with his dad. Thursday to Monday evening. Then he came home. He was so tired he didn’t want to talk.  So we ended up going to bed and reading Harry Potter (Prisoner of Azkaban). He wanted on the internet but no. I told him no. Eventually he fell asleep.  Today we woke up and he immediately asked if he could go to MawMaw and PawPaw’s. I said, “you don’t want to stay home and spend time with me?” He said: no I want to visit them.  Cue the first time my feelings have been really hurt by him. He asked for a hug. I’ve always told him I will always hug him.  I said, “I don’t want a hug right now because my feelings are hurt. But in a minute I’ll give you a hug.” We went into the living room and he was crying. I asked why. He said, “because you are mad at me and you think I hurt your feelings on purpose.” Well, I quickly set that straight. I told him I knew 100% that he didn’t hurt my feelings on purpose and I knew he never would. That I was abs...

Losing Mommy Hit Tonight

I had an emotional evening with everything going on with my Mom. I started crying and Myles grabbed my hand and said, “come with me.” He led me to Mom’s room and said, “She’s still here Mom. Go hug her.”  So I did. And cried, and loved on her. Myles said “hold on,” and went out to grab my phone. He said, “ you guys need a picture “. Y’all, it took me holding her and all her strength to sit up in bed.  Then Myles took the photo of me and my Mommy. When I started crying again he told me a joke to make us laugh.  He is wise beyond his years.  Mom, forgive me for posting the photo.

Moving On Through Grief

Mom left this earth on February 12, 2025. I woke up that morning to get Myles ready for school and Mom was cold. She went to meet God sometime between 2:30 am and 6:30 am. I called The Boy’s dad to come get him and take him to school as we had agreed on prior to that. I shut her bedroom doors and got him together and out the door and then I called hospice.  It was such a RELIEF knowing that she was finally gone to God. In her final days awake, my Mom begged me to kill her. She begged me to let her die. She was crying in pain even through the pain medication. Thankfully, when we got close, I was able to tell her how much I loved her and administer morphine. That kept her out of pain, asleep, and floating in her own world.  When she lost consciousness it was about 4-5 days after that when she went to meet God. One of the surreal things was that although she was unconscious, her eyes were open. Hospice assured me that was common. But it broke my heart to see her normally bright b...