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Mastectomy Post Op Day 8

Today I am 8 days post op from my mastectomy.

Yesterday I broke down sobbing because I miss The Boy so bad. Since my back went out I’ve been unable even to love on him. Every movement makes my back spasm. It’s VERY slowly getting better, but that means that walking to the kitchen and back puts me down for hours.

My expanders feel as if they are coming out under my armpits. It feels like there are foreign objects in my chest. I’ll call them bricks. My chest is still misshapen because there’s nothing in there but tissue expanders.

I was supposed to get my drains out today, but apparently Dr. B forgot they were closed today. So Tuesday morning it is because it’s a holiday weekend. My drain totals are under 30mL.

I have had to use the pillows under my arms because they are very sensitive and uncomfortable now. Uncomfortable isn’t even the right word.

We’re pretty sure I threw my back out by wiggling on my butt into the bed. I have an adjustable bed so that’s been helpful. But with four herniated discs in my lower back it makes sense that trying to wiggle into position without my hands would throw it out.

The Boy will be home tonight. I’m pretty sad and mopey but I haven’t been emotional or anything at all so I’m allowing myself to feel how I feel. I know some of this is the new super strong muscle relaxer just making me dopey. 

At this point I’m rambling. My logic knows that it’s going to get better. My emotions scream that this is stupid. It SUCKS. The mastectomy- the back- all of it. I’m sure I’ll be better after I see The Boy.

The Husband has been great. He’s been worried about me and has done everything that he can to keep things together. Currently he’s out working, which is made better by the fact that we own our own company.

Today, yesterday, these are the days that my faith isn’t exactly tested, but that I have to rely even more on God. The Husband prayed for me last night, which is awesome. I love that.
And I’m just really trying to rest in the Lord. That’s hard too. But I know that God’s got me.

What do you think about my new companion? We’ll call it WalkBoy. Yes, folks, I have a walker. *smh*

In other news, I got flowers from a wonderful friend today. 

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip- He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand.”

Psalm 121:1-5

#prettydowntoday #walkerinmythirties #unBRCAble #previvor #mastectomyisnothing
#bricksforboobs






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