Amazingly enough, I've become the housewife. Only, I am not the typical housewife. I don't have kids, and my husband isn't at home to take care of anymore. Which....I can say, I really don't know what to do. I am going out of my mind, and he's only been gone four three days. I miss him, but that's not it totally. The fact that I don't have that face to face contact with him, and the only people I see aside from when I go to church are my in-laws, makes things difficult. I am bored out of my freaking MIND. I play my games, and I clean up after myself, and dust and vaccuum, and play with the dogs. But, I mean, I am going nowhere. School doesn't start for a freaking MONTH, and then it's only two classes. I don't know when I'll see Aaron again, especially with what's going on at the school now. I feel....LOST. Like I don't know where I am going or what I am doing. Maybe it's just a bad day? I don't know. I want to start volunteering at the animal shelter, but that will cost me gas money, and we can't afford that yet. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to FIND things for myself to do, and NONE of them is mentally stimulating. I miss my husband more than I care to admit. I'm sure he hasn't read all of my emails, and if he has, I haven't received anything back from him. Our conversation tonight was less than stimulating, mostly because of my mood probably. I want my life back. I wish I could find a job now, not because of the money, but because it would give me something to DO. Sigh. So if you are reading this, please pray for me. Or CALL ME. Something. Apparently I have friends that can't pick up a phone...at least the one's who live here. And a father. I called my father on Easter, left him a message. STILL nothing from him. Whatever. I know when I call him, he is going to say, "OH, I was JUSt thinking about calling you." He always does. It's kinda pointless to blog when there is no one reading, isn't there? So...I guess...I dunno. Okay....
Mom was diagnosed with stage 4 acinar carcinoma pancreatic cancer a while ago. Acinar carcinoma only affects about 4% of the population with pancan. Even after treatment at Cancer Treatment Centers of America, they had only seen a few cases and even with treatment her tumor was growing. She had the whipple in 2019. Fast forward to today, she’s been living with me and my 8 year old son (The Boy) for about 2 years now and it’s been back and forth from Northern Alabama to Atlanta every other week. That stopped when they said the treatment wasn’t working. They sent Mom home. She did great for a while, but she’s slowly getting weaker and weaker and after a fall last night we made the decision that she won’t be moving around the house anymore. Thank God for Southern Beacon hospice. We’ve got a wonderful nurse and everything we need so she can stay in the bed. Yall, she’s so tiny. I can see every ligament on her poor little body. This woman has had cancer like 4 times. She’s a damn troop...
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