Amazingly enough, I've become the housewife. Only, I am not the typical housewife. I don't have kids, and my husband isn't at home to take care of anymore. Which....I can say, I really don't know what to do. I am going out of my mind, and he's only been gone four three days. I miss him, but that's not it totally. The fact that I don't have that face to face contact with him, and the only people I see aside from when I go to church are my in-laws, makes things difficult. I am bored out of my freaking MIND. I play my games, and I clean up after myself, and dust and vaccuum, and play with the dogs. But, I mean, I am going nowhere. School doesn't start for a freaking MONTH, and then it's only two classes. I don't know when I'll see Aaron again, especially with what's going on at the school now. I feel....LOST. Like I don't know where I am going or what I am doing. Maybe it's just a bad day? I don't know. I want to start volunteering at the animal shelter, but that will cost me gas money, and we can't afford that yet. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to FIND things for myself to do, and NONE of them is mentally stimulating. I miss my husband more than I care to admit. I'm sure he hasn't read all of my emails, and if he has, I haven't received anything back from him. Our conversation tonight was less than stimulating, mostly because of my mood probably. I want my life back. I wish I could find a job now, not because of the money, but because it would give me something to DO. Sigh. So if you are reading this, please pray for me. Or CALL ME. Something. Apparently I have friends that can't pick up a phone...at least the one's who live here. And a father. I called my father on Easter, left him a message. STILL nothing from him. Whatever. I know when I call him, he is going to say, "OH, I was JUSt thinking about calling you." He always does. It's kinda pointless to blog when there is no one reading, isn't there? So...I guess...I dunno. Okay....
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and the fine people at RESOLVE have challenged Bloggers to write a blog post with the theme of “Don’t Ignore Infertility”. In your life, in the lives of your family and friends, don’t ignore infertility. The words that so make so many of our hearts drop to our feet are: “Just relax, it will happen” and “Just trust God’s will”. These (and others) are phrases that I can’t stand. They are meant to be helping words. Kind words. Words to uplift and give encouragement. And yet as quick as they are spoken, they cut to the quick and cause resentment, anger and bitterness. Some people experience infertility and never have biological children. Others have children and experience infertility after that, called secondary infertility . Either way, it hurts. There is no cure, and the best that we can hope for is to find some other (albeit very costly) way to get pregnant or have that child we dream of. I got married last week to a wonderf...
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