A New Journey - The Wife of a Trucker

Effective today, my sweety hubby quit his job at the waste company, and is now starting a new job as an over the road trucker. Lot lizards beware. This man is mine. But seriously. He had given the company time to train a new person, and they started screwing him around. So he quit. He leaves Saturday (SO SOON!) to head to Dallas by bus and start training. Sigh. No idea when he will be home. On the up side as well, Mom and Pop (his parents) may have found an apartment, and Mom may have found a job. YAY! I still start school in June, and I can't wait. Going to spend time with my sexy man now...

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Don't Ignore The Pain of Infertility

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and the fine people at RESOLVE have challenged Bloggers to write a blog post with the theme of “Don’t Ignore Infertility”. In your life, in the lives of your family and friends, don’t ignore infertility. The words that so make so many of our hearts drop to our feet are: “Just relax, it will happen” and “Just trust God’s will”. These (and others) are phrases that I can’t stand. They are meant to be helping words. Kind words. Words to uplift and give encouragement. And yet as quick as they are spoken, they cut to the quick and cause resentment, anger and bitterness. Some people experience infertility and never have biological children. Others have children and experience infertility after that, called secondary infertility . Either way, it hurts. There is no cure, and the best that we can hope for is to find some other (albeit very costly) way to get pregnant or have that child we dream of. I got married last week to a wonderf...

Anxiety, Caregiving, Separation from Kids and other anxiety and depression related things

Today was a super hard day. Yesterday I was supposed to leave with The Man to go to California for a vacation. Something everyone, including Momma said I needed. Well, American Airlines canceled the flight due to the weather in DFW. I took a 1/4 of my Xanax (which I've never taken) to sleep last night and woke up feeling emotionally, physically and mentally unstable in an EXTREME way. Add to that when I'm away from The Boy from more than a few days it really hits my depression in a way that nothing else, even the stuff with my Momma does. Today was taxing. It was hard to keep my head on straight and I felt like I was going crazy. I felt as if I couldn't control anything and needed to be hospitalized. Not because I'm suicidal or even depressed. But because my level of stress and anxiety is so beyond the norm that I felt like I just needed to be placed somewhere safe without anything to say, do, or experience. Except The Boy. The Man is amazed by my level of ...

Cancer Treatment Centers of America and Mom

Well, I'm laying in the bed next to my mom as she snores (yes you do, mom). Here are photos from earlier. She's extremely weak and has a huge appetite but can't eat more than a bite or two at a time. It's so surreal to have this force in my life who has shaped me; this strong woman who has battled cancer and won four times be laying in this hotel room and weighing less than 90 pounds. In my head she is strong, decisive, larger than life. She taught me to always laugh, even in the bad situations- especially at the bad; to have faith in God, speak life and to always carry some type of weapon. Of course I'll be updating every day because I have to write it out somewhere. Watching both of your parents rapidly deteriorate at the same time is... indescribably difficult. It comes with anxiety, frustration, gratefulness, faith, anger and a whole heap of patience that waxes and wanes. Tomorrow i...

Ignore Me Like You Mean It

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