In my previous post I wrote about the last sermon I heard. What I didn't say (I don't think) is that my thinking was, "Is God punishing my disobedience by not allowing me to have children?"
Those of you who know me know this has been a struggle, with miscarriages along the way. We plan on adopting, but I question myself as to whether or not this is God's will. On the above note, I am angry at God, and ashamed at myself. Then I received this email from a dear, beloved friend of mine. No, she isn't a friend. She is my sister.
The Lord knows your heart, dear friend. He is neither cruel nor wishes pain upon His children. "Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matthew 7:9-11) I really believe that this is what the Lord is saying to you. He knows that we are evil, sinful people... He called you knowing exactly what was in your heart! He chose you, weaknesses and failings included. And you know that there is nothing that you cannot ask the Lord. He can handle our questioning! It is not sinful to question the Lord regarding what is on our hearts and minds. Think of Job. He poured out all of his questioning, pain, and anger out to the Lord. The Lord is patient with us, and He loves us. He wants us to come to Him with EVERYTHING! This included! xoxo
Oh how this has encouraged me. I can't imagine how or why God would bless me with the loved ones I have, but He has. Thank you God, praise God. This put tears in my eyes, and a smile in my heart.
Love you Em.