Ignore Me Like You Mean It

Mom left this earth on February 12, 2025. I woke up that morning to get Myles ready for school and Mom was cold. She went to meet God sometime between 2:30 am and 6:30 am. I called The Boy’s dad to come get him and take him to school as we had agreed on prior to that. I shut her bedroom doors and got him together and out the door and then I called hospice.  It was such a RELIEF knowing that she was finally gone to God. In her final days awake, my Mom begged me to kill her. She begged me to let her die. She was crying in pain even through the pain medication. Thankfully, when we got close, I was able to tell her how much I loved her and administer morphine. That kept her out of pain, asleep, and floating in her own world.  When she lost consciousness it was about 4-5 days after that when she went to meet God. One of the surreal things was that although she was unconscious, her eyes were open. Hospice assured me that was common. But it broke my heart to see her normally bright b...

I had an emotional evening with everything going on with my Mom. I started crying and Myles grabbed my hand and said, “come with me.” He led me to Mom’s room and said, “She’s still here Mom. Go hug her.”  So I did. And cried, and loved on her. Myles said “hold on,” and went out to grab my phone. He said, “ you guys need a picture “. Y’all, it took me holding her and all her strength to sit up in bed.  Then Myles took the photo of me and my Mommy. When I started crying again he told me a joke to make us laugh.  He is wise beyond his years.  Mom, forgive me for posting the photo.

Mom was diagnosed with stage 4 acinar carcinoma pancreatic cancer a while ago. Acinar carcinoma only affects about 4% of the population with pancan. Even after treatment at Cancer Treatment Centers of America, they had only seen a few cases and even with treatment her tumor was growing. She had the whipple in 2019. Fast forward to today, she’s been living with me and my 8 year old son (The Boy) for about 2 years now and it’s been back and forth from Northern Alabama to Atlanta every other week. That stopped when they said the treatment wasn’t working.  They sent Mom home. She did great for a while, but she’s slowly getting weaker and weaker and after a fall last night we made the decision that she won’t be moving around the house anymore. Thank God for Southern Beacon hospice. We’ve got a wonderful nurse and everything we need so she can stay in the bed. Yall, she’s so tiny. I can see every ligament on her poor little body. This woman has had cancer like 4 times. She’s a damn troop...

For now, I have this: Widespread Panic For Uvalde Can you see the possibilities  The feet laying silent in the crowd The quiet corruption of a world gone mad Shouting silently from securities unanswered phone I wish I’d owned a looking glass  A quiet transfer of violence all my own. The crowds parted in silent revelation, A madman’s place completely at home Pikachu stares from the stands Rivers streaming over and above Music that hangs in the silence  Of a bands best wishes fallen from the throne Helpless bubbles of pregnant pauses  Playing dead like the bones that draw their due. Shoes filled with blood red notes of exultation  In an unexpected recording of “where are you?” A five year olds homework splattered- on the floor Violence takes multiple stages From here I am to there they lay Uvelde in outrageous stages- Columbine, Aurora, Parkland and more. (c) Krystal Turner 2022

Mom Chronicles Day 1,940 April 5, 2022 Mom: “Do you want anything special for dinner?” Myles “Pizza is my destiny. That’s why I came to Earth. For the pizza.” 😆😆 Later I tried to explain something to him (he wants to start wearing nightshirts) and I was basically going to say if someone picks on you for wearing them to bed ignore them. I started to use wimp, but he didn’t know what that meant and I’m not defining a negative word. Then I tried a couple other words. Like sissy. He came back with, “like a sissy and a bubba?” Crissey And I was like oh I see no not like that. It’s hard to remember sometimes just how totally innocent he is, especially with that quick wit and the ability to make jokes that some adults wouldn’t get. Sissy and bubba are his brother and sister. Signing off on the chronicles for now. I need to do better. You may have noticed there are no more photos of Myles. Not new or recent ones anyway.  I decided to keep his face off the internet now that he’s growing u...

How can this beautiful moon I look at be the same moon that Putin looks upon at the same time Ukrainian refugees look at it? I honestly don’t understand how all of these things could possibly happen at the same time and yet- We are not peaceful. We don’t understand each other. All we see are boundaries, colors and lines. The things that divide us. Nothing is made of the thing that unites us. It doesn’t matter that we are all made of flesh, bond and sinew or that we look upon the same stars and possibly worship the same God.