Ignore Me Like You Mean It

So today Andrew and I got our wedding rings ordered. Well, correction. The sweet lady who runs the place was going to give us a discount on mine, and since she WASN'T THERE TODAY *gasp* we only ordered his titanium *insertname* ring today. Tomorrow will be exactly one month until this long crazy engagement is over and I get to start my life with my new husband. Who turns the water on when he goes to the bathroom. No matter what he's doing. Our water bill his ha-UGE. So anyways. Here is my awesome engagement ring (which actually does fit) along with my soon-to-be-new wedding band. Aahhhh! Marriage! I hope the second time is a good one because if it's not, I'm done. Happy Tuesday!

As previously mentioned, I'm discovering that weddings are much more involved than I expected. That being said, I've dedicated this next post to just that. For those of you planning a wedding, remember the little things. 1. A coordinator doesn't cost a lot, and takes away a LOT of stress. Ours cost less than a grand for decorating, organizing, handling everything the day of, and helping me stress over those small details a year in advance. 2. Offbeatbride.com - This website is amazing. From their silly stories to their wonderful advice, I've spent many a boring night on this website, taking notes, pinning, and making lists. You can't go wrong here. 3. Hand your stress to other people. Give those friends and family that want to help things to do. Let your control freak go and just do it. I promise you'll be so much happier for it. Take the time you're saving and go see a movie, read a book, do some homework, or take a nap. Better yet, spend time wit...

It can rip your heart out, and tear your soul to pieces. It can be the voice of unspeakable love and boundless pain. Or it can be a teacher of a faith so deep that even death cannot break it. One of my favorite women in the world died on Friday. She was my Aunt Debbie. She was a teacher of strength and patience, discipline and courage. Her faith was one that I only hope to acquire someday. Amidst all her pain and faith, she held onto the faith that she would one day go home to Jesus. And she did. It's not just Debbie that demonstrated an abounding love and faith to me though. I called my Uncle Doug this evening, to talk to him, and to tell him how much I loved him and how sorry I was, how blessed I was to see both her and him before she left us. While I was calling to console my uncle, HE was trying to console me. Telling me how proud she was of me, and how much she loved me and prayed for me. He said, "Well, I miss my girl a lot. But she's way too busy up there to m...

Recently I discovered I could do the one thing I never thought I could. Live without someone. It's been tough, and it's been lonely, but I'm learning that I have reserves of strength that I forgot about. In honor of that, here are some quotes for some of you women who may or may not be going through a rough time. "Anyone who views you or your relationship as disposable is not worth your time or your tears." - It's Called A Breakup Because It Was Broken "The jump is so frightening between where I am and where I want to be. Because of all I may become, I will close my eyes and leap." - Mary Anne Radmacher "I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass." - Maya Angelou “Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge, or point fingers. You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you.” - Audrey Hepburn "Because...

This is a word that we use to describe people that have seen things, done things, and are experienced in certain fields. A lot of times it's something we use to describe a charity or a man or woman with military experience behind him. What people don't see when they say this word are the things that go on behind closed doors. They don't see the old man suffering from dementia, thinking he's still a flight nurse in Vietnam, and threatening to kill himself because he just doesn't want to see another body. They don't see the young man who isn't even thirty yet, but has to wake his wife up every morning to tie his shoes because he was hit with an improvised explosive device while deployed. They miss the ulcers, the stomach aches, and the sleepless nights due to medication and side affects, and they aren't around when a veteran is walking the streets at 3 a.m. looking for someplace warmer to sleep than the park bench he was chased off of. We see you...

❀❀❀ People think about courage, and think of firefighters, police officers, paramedics and soldiers. They never think about the people who, day after day, keep trying. The dad who works three jobs just to make sure that his child support gets paid, and hopes that he'll have enough to see his kids on the weekend. They don't think about the woman dealing with infertility, who tries, again and again, and never gives up, or about the housewife who tries day after day to balance the checkbook, only to have something else hit that wasn't expected. Courage isn't just about running into dangerous situations. It's about never giving up, even when circumstances and the world say you're done. And thanks, to Christina, for this quote that says it all: Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. I am afraid but going on anyhow. Keeping the faith & remembering that God nev...

Things I'm learning are that you can't make your heart feel a certain way, and that sometimes, you just have to let it take some time to heal. I thought I was over the whole "I really want kids" thing. With my stepsons 18th birthday coming up, Christmas, graduation for him, I realize I'm not. I want the best of both worlds, and I can't that. I also can't have kids. So I've decided to bide my time, and remember that I've wanted kids my whole life, so it's going to take some time to heal, and this wound... this LOSS, will never fully heal. It's hard to allow myself to cry, but I'm discovering I can grieve in other ways, and I can deal in other ways. I just can't force myself to feel something I don't, and that is "okay" with how this whole thing turned out. More to come, I'm sure.