Skip to main content

Meds and Things

Well the muscle relaxers are messing with me. I’m tired but can’t sleep (insomnia, not pain). I’ve got a super high pain tolerance and since Dr. B said moving is important I’ve been following his orders to the T. To a T? The T? I don’t know. I’ve been following them.

I got a huge care package from my mother in law and it is the best. It’s got a big reclining pillow, candle, back washer, an adorable comfy robe with a hood, a beautiful throw blanket... she spoils me. 

My pain is at around a 7. 6-7. Most of the pain is localized under my arms, as well as underneath my surgical bra. I’ve been able to sort of get on my side to sleep, but it’s more being propped on a pillow under my back and then making sure I have something under my arms.

I was able to shower today, doctors orders. I haven’t been able to look at my chest yet. I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’m not ready. I’m happy and I’m super upbeat about my recovery... but not yet.

And I haven’t seen The Boy yet. That hurts. I miss him so much. I know he’s going to be bouncy and boisterous when I see him. I can’t lift him or anything. So yeah. I think he’s going to come home tomorrow.

Deep breaths hurt my chest- my expanders are under the muscle so I think this will be mostly what I feel as far as pain is concerned.

So far so good.

#unBRCAble #previvor #milkingit



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

More Things They Don't Tell You

They don't tell you that you'll come home after the first visit to the Cancer Treatment Center and your plants will be dead. Not the "I forgot to water it" dead. But DEAD.    That the first thing you think upon entering the house and depositing your bag is, "Shit. Everything around me is dying." Or that weeks later you'll be listening to your boyfriend and friends playing bluegrass and you'll think of your mom. Asleep in her bed with that ridiculously hilarious sleep mask on.  How is she losing weight when she's eating 8 times a day? Did you know there's a name for "wasting away"? It's cachexia.  I hate the phrase wasting away. As if someone isn't doing something to try and help. My brothers and sister in law and I are keeping sharp tabs on her medical notes and feeding her healthy, high calorie protein rich food. But it just falls right off. Maybe we're just trying to WILL her body to start acting eight.  Ho

Don't Ignore The Pain of Infertility

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and the fine people at RESOLVE have challenged Bloggers to write a blog post with the theme of “Don’t Ignore Infertility”. In your life, in the lives of your family and friends, don’t ignore infertility. The words that so make so many of our hearts drop to our feet are: “Just relax, it will happen” and “Just trust God’s will”.  These (and others) are phrases that I can’t stand. They are meant to be helping words. Kind words. Words to uplift and give encouragement. And yet as quick as they are spoken, they cut to the quick and cause resentment, anger and bitterness. Some people experience infertility and never have biological children. Others have children and experience infertility after that, called secondary infertility . Either way, it hurts. There is no cure, and the best that we can hope for is to find some other (albeit very costly) way to get pregnant or have that child we dream of. I got married last week to a wonderful m

Anxiety, Caregiving, Separation from Kids and other anxiety and depression related things

 Today was a super hard day.  Yesterday I was supposed to leave with The Man to go to California for a vacation. Something everyone, including Momma said I needed. Well, American Airlines canceled the flight due to the weather in DFW.  I took a 1/4 of my Xanax (which I've never taken) to sleep last night and woke up feeling emotionally, physically and mentally unstable in an EXTREME way. Add to that when I'm away from The Boy from more than a few days it really hits my depression in a way that nothing else, even the stuff with my Momma does.  Today was taxing. It was hard to keep my head on straight and I felt like I was going crazy. I felt as if I couldn't control anything and needed to be hospitalized. Not because I'm suicidal or even depressed. But because my level of stress and anxiety is so beyond the norm that I felt like I just needed to be placed somewhere safe without anything to say, do, or experience. Except The Boy.  The Man is amazed by my level of love for