Skip to main content

Mastectomy Post Op Day 8

Today I am 8 days post op from my mastectomy.

Yesterday I broke down sobbing because I miss The Boy so bad. Since my back went out I’ve been unable even to love on him. Every movement makes my back spasm. It’s VERY slowly getting better, but that means that walking to the kitchen and back puts me down for hours.

My expanders feel as if they are coming out under my armpits. It feels like there are foreign objects in my chest. I’ll call them bricks. My chest is still misshapen because there’s nothing in there but tissue expanders.

I was supposed to get my drains out today, but apparently Dr. B forgot they were closed today. So Tuesday morning it is because it’s a holiday weekend. My drain totals are under 30mL.

I have had to use the pillows under my arms because they are very sensitive and uncomfortable now. Uncomfortable isn’t even the right word.

We’re pretty sure I threw my back out by wiggling on my butt into the bed. I have an adjustable bed so that’s been helpful. But with four herniated discs in my lower back it makes sense that trying to wiggle into position without my hands would throw it out.

The Boy will be home tonight. I’m pretty sad and mopey but I haven’t been emotional or anything at all so I’m allowing myself to feel how I feel. I know some of this is the new super strong muscle relaxer just making me dopey. 

At this point I’m rambling. My logic knows that it’s going to get better. My emotions scream that this is stupid. It SUCKS. The mastectomy- the back- all of it. I’m sure I’ll be better after I see The Boy.

The Husband has been great. He’s been worried about me and has done everything that he can to keep things together. Currently he’s out working, which is made better by the fact that we own our own company.

Today, yesterday, these are the days that my faith isn’t exactly tested, but that I have to rely even more on God. The Husband prayed for me last night, which is awesome. I love that.
And I’m just really trying to rest in the Lord. That’s hard too. But I know that God’s got me.

What do you think about my new companion? We’ll call it WalkBoy. Yes, folks, I have a walker. *smh*

In other news, I got flowers from a wonderful friend today. 

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains- where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip- He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you- the Lord is your shade at your right hand.”

Psalm 121:1-5

#prettydowntoday #walkerinmythirties #unBRCAble #previvor #mastectomyisnothing
#bricksforboobs






Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Don't Ignore The Pain of Infertility

This week is National Infertility Awareness Week and the fine people at RESOLVE have challenged Bloggers to write a blog post with the theme of “Don’t Ignore Infertility”. In your life, in the lives of your family and friends, don’t ignore infertility. The words that so make so many of our hearts drop to our feet are: “Just relax, it will happen” and “Just trust God’s will”.  These (and others) are phrases that I can’t stand. They are meant to be helping words. Kind words. Words to uplift and give encouragement. And yet as quick as they are spoken, they cut to the quick and cause resentment, anger and bitterness. Some people experience infertility and never have biological children. Others have children and experience infertility after that, called secondary infertility . Either way, it hurts. There is no cure, and the best that we can hope for is to find some other (albeit very costly) way to get pregnant or have that child we dream of. I got married last week to a wonderful m
3 comments
Read more

Anxiety, Caregiving, Separation from Kids and other anxiety and depression related things

 Today was a super hard day.  Yesterday I was supposed to leave with The Man to go to California for a vacation. Something everyone, including Momma said I needed. Well, American Airlines canceled the flight due to the weather in DFW.  I took a 1/4 of my Xanax (which I've never taken) to sleep last night and woke up feeling emotionally, physically and mentally unstable in an EXTREME way. Add to that when I'm away from The Boy from more than a few days it really hits my depression in a way that nothing else, even the stuff with my Momma does.  Today was taxing. It was hard to keep my head on straight and I felt like I was going crazy. I felt as if I couldn't control anything and needed to be hospitalized. Not because I'm suicidal or even depressed. But because my level of stress and anxiety is so beyond the norm that I felt like I just needed to be placed somewhere safe without anything to say, do, or experience. Except The Boy.  The Man is amazed by my level of love for
1 comment
Read more

More Things They Don't Tell You

They don't tell you that you'll come home after the first visit to the Cancer Treatment Center and your plants will be dead. Not the "I forgot to water it" dead. But DEAD.    That the first thing you think upon entering the house and depositing your bag is, "Shit. Everything around me is dying." Or that weeks later you'll be listening to your boyfriend and friends playing bluegrass and you'll think of your mom. Asleep in her bed with that ridiculously hilarious sleep mask on.  How is she losing weight when she's eating 8 times a day? Did you know there's a name for "wasting away"? It's cachexia.  I hate the phrase wasting away. As if someone isn't doing something to try and help. My brothers and sister in law and I are keeping sharp tabs on her medical notes and feeding her healthy, high calorie protein rich food. But it just falls right off. Maybe we're just trying to WILL her body to start acting eight.  Ho
Post a Comment
Read more