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Fear and Satan

I’ve kept silent since this tragedy has unfolded in Las Vegas. There are enough people commenting and sharing and speculating about this shooting that I just didn’t have it in me. 

My heart hurts. It physically aches with heartbreak for these people who lost their loved ones and it aches in fear for my little boy.

Fear is something I thought I knew. Something I was familiar with and had wrestled to the ground. I have always been proud to say I feared nothing. It’s scary how fast that changes when you have children. I had a panic attack at church a few weeks ago- my husband and I go to a very large church here in our state. The largest. What a target, is all I can think. We dropped our son off in daycare and went to the service. During worship all I had in my head were thoughts of “what if” and “how would I get out” and “how would I get to my son”. I started hyperventilating and we had to leave.

Thankfully, I was able to speak with some folks that head up our security team and get some answers and assurances. But that’s not something we’re supposed to be worrying about. I shouldn’t have to think twice about entering a large crowd because of a shooter. 

Fear is one of the most crippling things I’ve experience Satan do. I fear life now. I fear the movies and the grocery store, the car and my university. I don’t know the answer to that fear. I do know that I serve a mighty and powerful God. And He’s got me. He’s got my son. He’s got my husband.

What’s happening in our world is evil. Pure evil. There are no two ways about it. And the more I see, the more I focus on God. That’s one thing I’ve noticed that the devil didn’t count on. I can’t count the number of people that I know that are coming BACK to God and becoming more vocal about their love for Jesus and their faith in God after these tragedies. Every time. Another and another.

Evil might run rampant in this world. These heroes like Sonny and his wife... they are just that. Heroes. Along with the hundreds of others who helped that night. And those who are still silently helping. 

My son will be raised to know and love God. And he will be raised to raise HIS children to know and love God. So checkmate, Satan. God’s gonna win in the end. He’s going to conquer you and my fear.

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