As I was getting prepared for my LSAT and my mastectomy, my doctor decided it was a good idea to change my sleeping pill. As someone who has suffered from chronic insomnia for years this was a terrible time to do it. We went from Ambien (which worked fine) to another drug I can't recall the name of, to Lunesta. Lunesta is a disgusting tasting pill that stays with you all day. It's in your food when you eat, your milk when you drink, and for me, it made me extremely nauseous. I tried it for several weeks and finally thought to myself, no. This isn't working. Andrew and I discussed it and decided I needed to head to the doctor. But before that, I wanted to take a pregnancy test and get it out of the way, so they didn't ask. I hate that question.
Because of my Hughes Syndrome and my wonky vein disease, we were concerned about me getting pregnant which was why we didn't try. So I was worried about how to tell Andrew. I knew he would be concerned. I decided to just have him come up to the doctors office so he would have a professional to talk to when he found out. When he walked into the patient room I just handed him the ultrasound. Here is his face, because you know I was snapping photos.
Obviously a happy guy. So after talking to my doctor, she said many people with my disease have healthy pregnancies all the time. Provided they are being treated. Of course, I'm high risk due to the disease and the fact that I'll be 35 when the baby is born, but that just means I'll be monitored closely and so will the baby. That took Andrew's worry from about a 13 to a 7. After talking to my blood doctor, he believes the Hughes is less of an issue than my crazy veins in my lower extremities. He's more concerned about my uterus putting pressure on those crazy veins. So that took Andrew's worry from a 7 to about a 4. Which I can handle.
So we're having a baby! It took a few weeks for me to get past the (I'm sad to say) resentment of having to slow down my education plans, and to be excited about the baby. Now I'm thankful that God has decided to bless us with this baby. All I ever wanted was Andrew's baby. Now we're just praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby, and Andrew and I are both committed to me graduating law school. Period.
So. Today I'm 10 weeks. My belly basically looks like I'm fat. Everyone who sees me says, "Oh the baby belly!" I don't see it. Thankfully, my nausea stopped last week. Before that it was so bad that I couldn't eat anything. Now most everything sounds fine. Except Mexican food, which I used to be able to eat all the time. My feet and legs are already swollen, thanks to those wonky veins, and I can't wear my entire set of rings, just my wedding band.
Baby is the size of a prune. We're hoping for a boy, but honestly, I don't care. I just want a healthy baby. Because of my disease, not only do I get to take the prenatal vitamin every day. But I also get to have a shot of Lovenox in my belly every day. Andrew has been the one giving them to me, and he's gotten quite good. I really thought he'd be the guy who didn't really become "daddy" until he held his baby. I was wrong. It took about 12 hours for him to go from "I hate kids" to "awwww look at the baby!"
The good news is that after trying to adopt and that not working, after two miscarriages, and fertility drugs, and everything, God allowed us to get pregnant when we least expected it, and when we have the best access to the most phenomenal doctors. So regardless of my plans, I know God has this and so does Andrew.
That sheepish grin is on the way out of the doctors office. Everyone kept calling him daddy. And this is ten weeks. Please Lord let it be only one child.
So if you read my blog, please pray for a healthy baby and Mom, and for Andrew not to go crazy trying to deal with my weepiness.