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Swapping Time

It's funny what happens when you become a mom. First, survival. Feed the baby. Change the baby. Eat. Sleep.

Then you get into a new normal. Once that happens, it's almost like survival mode never happened. And there will always be "survival" mode depending on the phase you're in. Currently The Boy is rapidly approaching toddlerhood. Our new normal means I sit VERY close during this super crazy separation anxiety phase and wait for him to pause during play to come back for a hug. So far, there's no survival mode - I'm certain it's coming.

Once you find your new normal you start to incorporate life back into your life. You know. School, work, friends, etc. Currently I'm sitting at home, having skipped class to get time alone. My husband is at work. My son is with a friend. My feet are cold. Everything is as it should be.

My sweet son is the best thing ever.
Also I have a story for you.
Many of you have heard me complain of the difficulty in showering …
Recent posts

Mom Chronicles Day 299

Mom Chronicles Day 299:
When The Boy isn’t walking but proceeds to climb up the ottoman, up the couch, over 247 loads of laundry, over the back of the couch to stare out the window. #adventurous #belay #notyet #startwalkingfirst #itbegins #grabthewine 
By leaving stuffed animals on the floor you will cause The Boy to initiate growling phase 3. Phase 3 includes bending over to eye level with the animal in question and really showing that animals who’s boss. 
If you think you have a fast baby now, I propose Naked Baby Diaper Races. To win, you and your baby must reach the finish line with you chasing while he laughs madly and crawls away with lightning speed. Contestant babies must be only wearing socks. Mom’s must carry the diaper in question.
Peaches for breakfast end with exploding poopat lunch. 
The dishwasher has become the new “It” place for climbers galore. Lounge in the streams of dishwater as Mommy works in the sink above. Just make sure as you are climbing in you don’t bonk. Bonks …

Tonight, There Is A Mom

As I rocked The Boy to sleep tonight I held him a little tighter, a little longer, a little closer. Somewhere out there in my town tonight, a mother is preparing to bury her son. She’s laid out her clothes and made the preparations, and she will go to bed tonight wondering what she missed.
I know because I am wondering what I missed. I’m just a friend. 
This Mom will turn the light out, and she’ll close her eyes and maybe she’ll sleep. I hope she sleeps. I hope she sees that she couldn’t control this. But she won’t.
See, as a mom we have that guilt over everything. And when your son takes his life- how can you not wonder what you did wrong? What you missed or didn’t say?
Somewhere out there, there is a Mom rocked by guilt, by grief. Her emotional pain has become so intense that it manifests as a physical ache inside her chest. 
I will always wonder what I missed. But tonight, my thoughts are on this Mom. I hope she can feel the extra prayers going up to God for her.
And as she wakes in the …

She Decided Not To Live

“And yet, her death had so many more actual causes.
Bullying. The neglect of a school district to handle the problem. Parents of the bullies who declined to take their kids’ behavior seriously.
And chief among them all, the fact that multiple eleven and twelve-year-old children were in the possession of smartphones and social media accounts.”
https://foreverymom.com/family-parenting/bullied-social-media-mallory-grossman/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Susannah&utm_campaign=mallory



Y’all. I don’t know when we’ll see it. I mean- actually see it. This epidemic that is sweeping through our country and has been for years. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for youth between the ages of 10 and 24. SECOND. Between TEN YEARS OLD and twenty four. 
There were 1748 deaths by suicide in 2013 among teens aged 15 to 19 years old, and this number might actually be higher, as “some of these deaths may have been recorded as accidental.”
“In fact, reports show that 43% of teens have reporte…

Life Happens

Well, my dear sister is getting married this weekend to a wonderful man (I’m watching you!) and our plane leaves this afternoon at 4 pm. We will not be on it. My poor husband is being held hostage at the hospital thanks to that tyrant, diverticulitis. He’s been there 5 days. We have no solution yet. I’ve been carting The Boy back and forth to his sitters so I can divide my time between my sweetheart and my son.
My son is NOT happy. My husband is still in pain and y’all, I am weary. The good news is, I’m learning that to take care of them I have to take care of me. So this morning I’m at home getting ready to go back to bed for a nap. It probably won’t happen but at least I can lay down and rest. Except that probably won’t happen either because I’m going to see something that needs to be done. Ah well. I guess I’d better get on with that nap.

Fear and Satan

I’ve kept silent since this tragedy has unfolded in Las Vegas. There are enough people commenting and sharing and speculating about this shooting that I just didn’t have it in me. 
My heart hurts. It physically aches with heartbreak for these people who lost their loved ones and it aches in fear for my little boy.
Fear is something I thought I knew. Something I was familiar with and had wrestled to the ground. I have always been proud to say I feared nothing. It’s scary how fast that changes when you have children. I had a panic attack at church a few weeks ago- my husband and I go to a very large church here in our state. The largest. What a target, is all I can think. We dropped our son off in daycare and went to the service. During worship all I had in my head were thoughts of “what if” and “how would I get out” and “how would I get to my son”. I started hyperventilating and we had to leave.
Thankfully, I was able to speak with some folks that head up our security team and get some an…

He Will NOT Stop Crying!!

"He will NOT stop crying!"
That phrase characterized my son's first few months of life. Screaming, crying with no relief. Change the diaper, change the clothes, feed him, rock him. NOTHING HELPED!!
And I heard it all. "Oh he's colicky." and "well, he's just an irritable baby" (that gem was from his pediatrician) and "flip him end to end" and "he's just manipulating you" (yes- the four month old baby). 
I was an emotional, confused mess. All I could think was there was SOMETHING wrong with my sweet boy. I KNEW it. And no one would listen except my husband. As a first time mom, albeit a "maternally advanced" mom, you get treated like you just don't know. You get dismissed. But I digress.
Did you know that the sound of an infant's cries are used in torture? I am not surprised. Listening to the boy child cry was pure torture and all I could do was cry with him.
I went round and round with doctors, who wouldn…